does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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