i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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