I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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