Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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