but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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