I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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