Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
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And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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