im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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