sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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