do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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