she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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