I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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