I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize