the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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