i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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