Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
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You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
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You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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