How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize