So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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