I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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