I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
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I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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