return my video game
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm like, not good at living.
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