last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize