I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize