what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
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I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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