First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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