at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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