Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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