I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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