i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize