I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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