There was a lot of him and a little penis
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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