I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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