Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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