He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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