member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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