watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize