Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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