It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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