I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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