I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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