i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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