I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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