this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize