next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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