Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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