i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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