evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
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