it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
soo... how was my night?
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