My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize