before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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